Dealing with Mental Illness: Personal Perspective!
Dealing with Mental Illness: Personal Perspective!
Today I am honored to have talked with and collaborated amongst the wonderful and amazing River Moon. River Moon is a 19 year old proud and unapologetic black musician and upcoming popstar that has already debuted his demo "Alone in the Dark" and "Her Name is Heaven", and I can truly vouch for him and say he's got a definite unique sound and definitely going to go places in the music industry. His sound is definitely unmatched and he's super determined to become a popstar, I'd definitely check out his music if you haven't already, a legend in the making. River also has a online persona as s"Yung Deepthroat" and makes tons of really great and funny points about tons of things like Azealia Banks, tons of hilarious yet valid topics. Today we're going to talk about something a little more serious and close to both River's and my heart, mental illness.
I know tons of you guys have wanted me to talk about mental illness and I thought this would be the best way to show representation as a fellow black person's personal perspective on dealing with mental illness while growing up in the black community. River made tons of very interesting and good points within the interviewing process, again everyone's experience with mental illness/disorders will be totally different and they're all definitely valid and worth hearing. This is River's personal perspective and experience with mental illness/disorders in his life.
Questions:
1. What mental illness/disorder do you have yourself?
River: I am diagnosed with bipolar II disorder and borderline personality disorder.
2. How does your mental illness/disorder affect your daily life in your own words?
River: Some days I'm stable and I live life like everyone else, when I'm having an episode it's like a war in my head and in my body. I don't like to think of myself as struggling, but rather surviving. I think people who live and cope with mental illnesses and especially personality disorders are surviving. We are survivors.
3. Why do you think some black parents equate having a mental illness or disorder to weakness?
River: I believe they believe that solely it's passed down with every generation, some kids never unlearn that and bring it into their adulthood and eventually instill it into their children, that's why so many kids with mental illnesses/disorders suffer in silence and most of the time these mental illnesses are passed down genetically with or without detecting or even realizing it. The parents never acknowledged their own struggles with their mental illness/disorder or get help with their struggles solely because of their own parents trauma. Therefore they won't acknowledge their children's cries, it's a cycle. A dangerous and toxic cycle.
4. What would you say to those mentally ill and suffering in silence?
River: Surround yourself with people who you want you to be better. Try not to be afraid to speak and scream and shout as a last resort. You will be heard and someone will help you.
5. In your own words, how has mental illness impacted your life?
River: Honestly, it destroyed my life. I really don't know who I am, like who am I underneath my personality disorder? Take my episodes away and who am I really? Without the mania and without the depression, who am I truly? I'm always fucking struggling to find my true self underneath everything. I know who I am at the core, but I don't know who I would be if I was "normal" or whatever the fuck normal means. I don't think there's anything positive about.
6. What would you tell someone that is indeed not mentally ill and honestly wants to help someone who's mentally ill respectfully?
River: Know their boundaries, stay in your lane. Some things people on the outside will never understand.
7. How do you think people who don't have mental illnesses/disorders view people with mental illnesses/disorders?
River: I can only speak for myself and my own experience, people who don't live with mental illness tend to be very selfish and they try to put themselves in our shoes, but they will never understand. That equates them speaking over us or minimizing our feelings, they get tired real quick.
8. How do you feel about people that romanticize mental illness/disorders in films and books? How does it make you feel on a daily basis?
River: The whole "straightjacket crazy person" thing is tired and through. We don't need no more of those fucking movies. For example the movies where the person who is bipolar or whatever is always portrayed as abusive to their partner and the only way the audience empathize or sympathize is when they realize they need help. There are so many other stories can be told, but everyone is lazy and ableist. We all aren't abusive, we need help. Not performative and fake concern.
9. What defining moment or event took place where you knew something was going with you personally more like abnormal?
River: When I was admitted to rehab for the first time at 16 and I had to come face to face with myself and my demons and something that went unnoticed (my mental illness/disorder) and how long I've gone untreated for so long. I had to deal with my addiction as well and also the uncertainty of it all. I didn't know what I had at the moment, everyone just left me in the dark and fed me pills. I thought for the longest time I'd never get out of it, but I managed to find my silver lining within the ugly darkness that guarded my life.
10. Case scenario: If you were to have children or even a significant other and you noticed they're showing early signs of mental illness/disorders, what would you do to help them?
River: The most important thing a parent or significant other can do is LISTEN. It's so essential and help them in any means necessary to help them get better, but also give them space and air for it's all so fresh and overwhelming tremendously.
11. What are some good coping mechanisms that you've found to be effective while dealing with your mental illness?
River: Me personally my only coping mechanisms are writing, making and producing music and definitely twitter. Twitter has helped me cope so much, here I feel like I truly have my own platform and voice.
12. What would you tell someone who's indeed mentally ill and in search of help?
River: I would tell someone struggling to find people who will listen to you or someone to listen to. Go to an anonymous group for a start, it's free and everyone there is listening and learning from each other. Talk to someone you can trust. Unfortunately some things cost money, even bettering your mental health costs, therapists cost money, medication cost money, treatments cost money... which is beyond me and I don't think it should be like that at all. Mental and physical wellbeing should be taken care of in the same way. Unfortunately the capitalism system doesn't allow us basic things like wanting help an helping us survive. We have to buy our health, and even then its not guaranteed.
13. Overall in your own words how would you describe your journey to recovery from when you found out and decided to seek help about your mental illness/disorder and addiction?
River: My journey to recovery is still going, I think it always will honestly. You're never not going to be recovering. You're always going to have challenges and obstacles in your life that you have to learn how to overcome, that's life but it's harder undergoing a mental illness/disorder. It's a journey with no real destination, but you're never stagnant. You're always moving. Sometimes constant stability in a super chaotic life is sometimes what we need to keep going.
14. What do you want people to take from this interview the most?
River: I want whoever reads this to try (emphasis on the word try because people don't get enough credit for simply trying) to be more open. If you can get help, please do. If you can't try community group programs, you can do this on the internet as well. If you don't want help, however that is your choice and you're entitled to it however. No one can decide for you. Acknowledgement is the first step to healing from within, once you acknowledge you need help you can start your healing process from there.
To conclude this very informing and enticing interview, I would like to add that River has been super open and honest and that's one of the many things I definitely admire about him. I'm excited for where he will lead in both the music industry and just in general in life, he's such a promising and electric soul that will touch so many people. I think we need more people like River within our community, unapologetic and straightforward about what's going on in our daily lives and also combating about the issues that effect us and our communities that we inhabit. By doing so, as this interview does, we are spreading the word and letting fellow folks know that... we indeed hear you and your words. Even if you haven't spoken, they speak volumes, more than words could ever. We hear you, we're here for you, you aren't alone and we won't let your demons take over you, I hope you don't as well. You aren't weak whatsover, you're ultimately so strong for still being here and toughing it out. You're the true hero here, always believe that, as we do.
Your words matter, every single word. Don't ever let anyone ever make you feel invalidated, this is YOUR space and you deserve to be heard and helped to head into the healing process. Namaste my folks.
X,
maya
X,
maya
Want to know more about this rockstar River Moon and would like to get in contact with him about future business endeavors? His social media links will be down below if you're interested. You won't be disappointed at all.
River Moon's social media
Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/yung.deepthroat
Soundcloud: http://www.soundcloud.com/yungdeepthroat
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