Stop acting white, mental illness is just the devil.

By my sixth grade year I had survived three suicide attempts, my wrist had been covered in scars that I knew would be there forever and thoughts that no child should have but I did. The thoughts of a mentally unstable black teen is often prayed upon or ignored due to lack of belief that mental illness can kill you. While I had been away in the mental institution I thought my parents would have finally understood just how hard it is for me interact with people or how hard it was for me to take another breath and be thankful. 

My mother's laugh is what kept me from taking my own life but that soon changed when her laugh was directed at the black girl that thinks she's white. "I almost thought I was dealing with a white kid for a second." she exclaimed as we arrived at what used to be my favorite restaurant. The thought of her understanding my mental illness was eliminated, I'd never felt so belittled. I couldn't help but think of all the black teens we lost to suicide because the adults in the black community thought it was a white thing or the black teens suffering from self harm being scowled because "its that damn devil."
It wasn't until my younger sister who had just made it to ninth grade and attempted to kill herself that my mother noticed it wasn't just a white thing. My father who suffered from depression for many years didn't realize how serious it was until he saw two of his daughters end up in the hospital because of a suicide attempt. It shouldn't take these extreme measures to show our black adults that mental illness should be taken seriously. The amount of black teens we're losing today because of lack of knowledge when it comes to mental illness is egregious.
Although depression and suicidal thoughts/actions runs through my family they still didn't seem to get it. That's when i realized our black parents and adults were not just hurting us, the youth but they were hurting and belittling themselves because even if their thoughts were crippling and keeping them from getting up some days they still never believe they need help. They don't realize how detrimental their denial is to them and youth suffering from mental illness.
Although our older black community seems to neglect mental illness the younger community seems to help their fellow peers suffering. Social media stars like Meechonmars and Briana Telise has helped bring up the black youth suffering. Meech even started a clothing line helping to advocate and strengthen our suffering youth. There are many others like him and while you may feel alone as a black mentally ill young adult, you're never alone and there are other just like you. You matter, We matter.